Here's what I've been thinking: there is no shame having lived – for years, for decades, or an entire lifetime even – in mess, meanness, regret, or any other form of negativity.
Imagine how the world might change if we all allowed ourselves to let go of any self-judgement around how we have lived (because let’s be honest, when does judgement ever lead us anywhere good?), and simply allowed ourselves to step into our ability to create a better future?
True change comes from realising that we are fully at choice – that we each choose in every new moment: what we see, how we see it, how we react, who we are, what we believe …
And isn’t that frightening?
Isn’t it overwhelming, troubling, intriguing to know that it is YOU who have created this crazy, rambling life for yourself – that it is YOUR willingness (or lack of willingness) to show up to each moment that has been the primary force determining the trajectory of your life to date.
The reason it's so frightening, is because most of us could do better. Much better. However, there doesn't have to be any shame in acknowledging that you've held back from owning and showing up in your life. Or that you might struggle moving forward from where you are. Unless you choose to create that shame, that is ...
The bit that often trips people up, is that after you realise you’re at choice comes the hardest part of all ... because it is in exactly that moment that you get to turn around and be fully present to the reality of your life to date.
Damn, that hurts ... to look out from that new, more powerful perspective, and therefore be present to each of the bad choices, the ugliness, the weakness and posturing, and the wasted moments, and the denials of your true self, and diluting of what you are and could be ...
The painful realization: You are the one who is responsible for the parts of your life that have fallen into disrepair
The task of being present to, and taking responsibility for your past choices is no easy task. It’s enough to buckle your knees.
But you can do it. You have to. Unless you want to remain in the fuzz, that is. Always stuck. Always searching outside yourself for something more. Always feeling at the mercy of others, and continuing to live in regret ...
Being present to life hurts. (And don't you dare listen to all those positivity cravens, who sugar coat the world and make you think you're not enough when reality comes thumping on your door).
And the balm I want to offer here is this: after all those years spent trying to be different or more, what if we decide to just be us?
To be human. Fallible. Imperfect and often unaware. What if that is all we can be? Can you imagine if that were okay?
Because it is, you know.
With love and hope,
- Liz Busch